Peace

I dreamt of Ben. In my dream, he was laughing and swimming in a lake. I tried to call to him, but he just kept laughing. I tried to reach out to him, but he swam away from me. What does this mean? That he is in a happy place now? I still miss him so much…

I started my babysitting job recently. I decided that Mrs Maynard (Jackie’s mom) has been too protective of Jackie. She puts on Jackie’s clothes for her, feeds her, brushes her hair… Jackie is not allowed to do anything at all! I decided that I am going to teach Jackie how to brush her hair. It’s going to be a secret. I’ll teach her and then give Mrs Maynard a lovely surprise.

Oh, talking about surprises, I was surprised today. I met Tony again. Yes, the boy I have been dreaming about for the past few months… Tony is Jackie’s brother! He’s still as handsome as I remembered, but I realize he’s not a very nice person. He’s rude, and bossy. He didn’t even greet his mother when Mrs Maynard came home, and just asked her to wash his dirty clothes. And he told me to make breakfast for him! I mean, I am employed as a baby sitter, not a maid! I was not too happy about it, but still, I thought I’d be nice and make him something to eat. Tony looked down on his sister too. I think he blames her for causing his parents’ divorce. He thinks that Mrs Maynard spends so much time taking care of Jackie that she has no time for him and his father. Suddenly, I pitied Tony. I realize he has a lot in common with my own sister, Katy – a lonely child who feels jealous because he is not getting enough attention from his mother.


Just yesterday, I think I managed to get Tony to get along with his sister. He is going to help me to teach Jackie how to put on her shoes!

I met Mr Henderson one day while taking Jackie out on a walk. He told me to go back to youth club and said that Jeff mentioned that he misses me. Oh my, what can this mean ~~~ ? We went to visit Ben’s gravestone. Jackie was playing in the cemetery, and I wanted to tell her to stop at first. However, I thought that Ben would have wanted her to be playing and having fun, so in the end, I let Jackie play. Ben would have joined her in playing if he could…

Anna